change

Scattering Shadows

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“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5.

Candlelight flickers on the ceiling, illuminating the darkness with its warmth, scattering shadows across the room. It’s peaceful and inviting, just what I need after a very full day. Sinking into the couch, I watch the light dancing across the ceiling and marvel at such a simple beauty bringing me so much solace. An unexpected gift from the Lord, I conclude with a thankful sigh.

A few days later, my phone lights up with an early evening text. Go outside, it says, with an attached photo of a rare and unexpected moment of brilliance. I step out the back door into the chilly air. Thanks to all the city lights, it’s hard to see with the naked eye but as I raise my phone camera above the dark horizon, an incredible sight appears! Northern lights dance across the sky. In all my days I’ve never seen them in that colour! Growing up on the farm, we’d set out our lawn chairs in the middle of the yard and watch a breathtaking show in shades of green and blue, but rarely pinks and yellows. Another gift, Lord!

Some recent mornings have dawned uneventfully, but a few of these late sunrises have been layered with blush, coral, lavender and periwinkle fading into the grey morning sky. I can’t help myself! I step out our busy morning routine and snap a photo or two, but they never really do it justice. Thank you Lord for Your beauty and goodness! 

This week has brought a thick blanket of snow, fresh and clean, and a short blast of true, blue winter cold is now upon us for a couple of days, ushering in the Advent season with its great anticipation of the best celebration of the year. From brown and colourless to brilliant white – a picture of a heart transformed. Come, Lord Jesus, my heart cries. We need You so deeply!

November’s gifts of light have blessed me beyond measure! They’ve been a call to slow down and sit at the feet of Jesus, resting in His presence, even just for a moment. I’ve been living a busy, distracted life, and yet, the Lord is using these ordinary moments to remind me of His goodness and grace.

My prayer in these busy years has often been, Lord, let me be interruptible. Help me to see the things that are truly important for this moment, for this day.

An impromptu board game, a necessary late night heart-to-heart, a releasing of my own plans to make room for the beautiful things right in front of me — I am finding myself increasingly dependent on the Lord for wisdom in the ordinary moments of life. And I am finding that He is faithful to provide!

What a beautiful gift of a moment to breathe before we jump into all things jolly! My prayer in this season is from Colossians 3:15-17 — 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Such important truth to preach to our hearts words as we engage the next few weeks of preparations for our Christmas celebrations. Advent has become a beloved part of our holiday season, not because we need more traditions, but because it reminds us that of the grand story of history unfolding before us. We can step off the frantic merry-go-round of rushing around trying to accomplish our checklist in time for our perfect holiday and refocus our minds and hearts on the King of Kings who is faithful to do what He has promised. He has been patiently unfolding His plan since the dawn of time, and the vastness of this truth brings a deep sense of awe and amazement that we are included in it!

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,
for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices!
O night divine! O night when Christ was born!
O night divine! O night, O night divine”

These words were penned by an avowed atheist Placide Cappeau in the mid-1800s at the request of his local parish priest. It was the first song ever played over the newly invented airwaves in 1906, with a soaring melody on an old violin, to the amazement of ship’s radio operators travelling across the sea. We sing melodies from centuries ago that bring tears to our eyes even today because they hold unchanging truth — we need Jesus!

As November becomes December, with lengthening shadows illuminated by the glow of a candle, and we are tempted to get distracted and lose the plot, disheartened by the heaviness around us, we are determined to pause to remember that the Light of the World will return to overcome the darkness forever. May our ordinary moments, our “interruptions”, the gifts of His grace, the glimmer of His light in our lives, scatter our own shadows and give us the true hope our hearts so desperately need.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
    there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
    and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
    with justice and righteousness
    from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
    will accomplish this.

Isaiah 9:6-7 (NIV)

Image: Unsplash

Let it Be Summer

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The year goes by so fast, doesn’t it? June is done, and with it, a sense of finality. We’re still in the stage of measuring our lives in school years and summertimes, and summertime is taking centre stage right now.

My favourite tree across the street is larger than last year and all colours of beautiful blooms fill the beds and hedges around the yard. There’s a heaviness in the air this week – a humidity we don’t usually experience here – thanks to some heavy rain several days ago. Even the nights feel warm and sticky. It smells like wet earth and things growing and all the little bits of summer that we forget so quickly when the wind shifts at the end of the season.

For now though, we relish the heat of the sun and the green of the landscape and the hum of the creatures that fill our summer soundtrack. We’re ready for another kind of learning, the kind that teaches us how to live together and love each other well when there isn’t the same set routine or responsibilities of the school year to occupy our time.

It’s not that I don’t have things that need to get done in the next couple of months. There is no shortage of household projects and preparations and to-do lists, but I know that we need to make room for true rest in all its beautiful forms.

Perhaps that’s why I am a firm believer in the gift of a boring summer. Although we do maintain some expectations of household chores and sibling time throughout these wild and free summer days, I choose a slower pace for these summer vacation days. There is space in the schedule to lay down on the grass and look at the clouds. Play the entirety of a Phase 10 card game (that means all 10 phases!). To plan and execute a three-day campout in the backyard. Spontaneously get together with friends who happen to be in town for the day. Shop for and cook dinner over a fire we took the time to build. Say yes to an impromptu ice cream invite. To read aloud together. To grab the binoculars and check out that cool bird. To drive out of town for the day and explore a new place.

To just be.

I walked into two different stores this week and saw autumn-themed decorations – and immediately closed my eyes and put out my hand with a firm, “No”. Not ready for that, thank you very much. How about popsicles for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and watermelon all day long! Sprinklers and water fights and pop-ins at the pool. Epic thunderstorms with awe-inducing lightning bolts and bubbling clouds that make your heart beat just a little bit faster.

The reality of the passage of time is always pressing down on me. I see all the changes happening before my very eyes – in my own reflection in the mirror, in my kids, in our family dynamics. I’m thankful for all the moments we have together, even the ones that feel a lot more like storm clouds and thorns than sunshine and roses. Change has never been my forte, and the looming uncertainties of the future are casting their shadows on my current season of life, but I am setting my heart on the One who never changes!

Psalm 91:1-2

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Image: Stocksnap

Bearing Fruit

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A rushing wind blew through last night bringing relief to from the late spring heat. And with it, thoughts of Pentecost, and the wind of the Spirit bringing new hope for a life of transformation and change! I’ve been reading Galatians this month, and earlier this week I made it to the famous Chapter 5, such a familiar passage if you grew up memorizing Scripture.

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Galatians 5:16-24 (NIV)

We’ve been looking at the Fruit of the Spirit recently at our house. Sometimes to know what something is, you need to know what it is not, and the contrast between the two lists is stark. The call in the beginning of the passage is clear — walk by the Spirit and these things will no longer be attractive to you! We are called not to do whatever we want, but to live the way Christ has called us to live!

It’s a tall order, but the good news is that it’s the fruit of the Spirit. That means the Spirit is bearing fruit in our lives. His work in our hearts that makes transformation possible! As we yield to Him, we discover new capacities and desires growing in us, leading us away from the first list and toward the second. 

Do not be discouraged! We live by the Spirit, so let’s keep in step with the Spirit! Actively seek opportunities to live out the love of God, with joy and peace. Choose forbearance. Act in kindness and goodness. Be faithful and gentle. And use self-control. Cover all in prayer!

Lord, these things can seem so impossibly difficult to choose in the heat of conflict or temptation! Give us the wisdom to see the clear choices before us, the courage to trust that You will fill all our needs and bring Your justice to every situation, and that You truly are at work in our lives. We thank You for Your grace and mercy when we fail, and we pray that Your Kingdom come and Your will be done here in our lives as it is in heaven. Amen.

Image: Stocksnap

A Thousand Little Moments

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“You want to work on this with me, Mom?” 

The invite came from my eldest, last Saturday after breakfast. 

A partially finished puzzle of Jane Austen quotes was laid out on the folding table in the living room. The older two girls had begun it earlier in the week and day after day it stared up at us, patiently waiting to be completed. I’d been intending to sit down and work on it with them at some point in the week, but of course life kept popping in with its more pressing demands.

My mind scanned the list of things on the to-do list. “Puzzle” was not on it. And yet… 

“Sure, let’s see how far we can get,” I agreed as I took my post and slowly began to piece the quotes together, paying close attention to fonts and colours and patterns. I felt a little lost as I tried to make sense of parts of letters and segments of words that could have come from any one of the several quotes on the reference image. It was painfully slow but we made a little bit of headway before other tasks drew us from the table, leaving some sections complete, others partially finished, none connected to the rest. I was a little disappointed, to be honest. I thought we’d get farther in the time we spent on it.

Maybe that’s why I was so surprised when I returned from an errand later that day to discover the puzzle was nearly complete.

“Wow! This looks amazing!” I exclaimed. “How did you finish it so fast?”

“Well actually most of it was done. We just needed to connect the parts together,” my daughter answered as she placed the final few pieces into the puzzle with satisfaction.

Just needed to connect the parts together. The words echoed in my mind. How often have I felt like I just needed to see the whole picture so I could make those seamless connections between the parts of my life that feel like they’re never going to come together and the ones that are looking pretty good from my vantage point. Most of the time, I simply don’t see how it’s all going to work out until long after it’s over and I gain some distance and perspective.

I am learning to trust that the Lord is always at work. And as I get older, I am spending less time trying to predict where things fit and more time marvelling at the finished product, most often absolutely stunned and surprised by the goodness and faithfulness of a God who is always mysteriously at work, bringing beauty from ashes in one way or another.

What an amazing thing! A puzzle goes from one thousand individual little pieces to one exquisite, unified image: an ever-present but very ordinary reminder that the Lord is working a thousand little moments together to bring about something beautiful in my own life. Even when I can’t possibly imagine how the pieces fit, they always do. 

Thanks be to God.

Ephesians 3:16-21

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Image: mine

Sweet Summer

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This week marks the first anniversary of the sudden and unexpected loss of my father-in-law.

Twelve months of firsts. Twelve months that haven’t gone exactly as planned. Twelve months of shuffling, adjusting, making space for a new reality. Twelve months that have brought moments of pure grief, pure joy and everything in between.

And a new awareness: twelve months of the faithfulness of God in dark, unfamiliar places.

For the Lord is good
And His love endures forever
His faithfulness continues to all generations.
(Psalm 100:5)

Yes, Lord, You are faithful. 

As our family moves into the fullness of the sweet summer months, we are experiencing the goodness of the Lord in a thousand little ways, in a thousand little places. And while we intentionally remember what He has done, we recognize there are many things we don’t understand. Living in the tension between the two, our hearts are tuned to His love and care.

Even in the gift of a fresh, late June morning, thick with humidity, at least as much this arid city will allow. More than we’re used to, anyway. Lilacs and roses soak the air with heavy, sweet fragrance as bees bumble from bloom to bloom.

Summer is fleeting in this part of the world, so we tend to make the most of the warmth and sunshine while we have it. Responsibilities give way to relaxation, but we’re learning from the story of the Grasshopper and the Ants! Committing to completing the tasks on the to-do list feels like a sacrifice when we know that before long, autumn will appear for a big colorful show, ushering in our regular tasks and routines.

The weaving together of work and play is an art! Striking that beautiful balance of completing some big jobs and kicking up our heels for some fun seems to be the challenge of these short summer months. I am praying for the strength to do the hard things and the wisdom to make space for the best things. 

I watch my friends and family as their birds leave the nest, knowing that our time is coming. We’re not quite there but we know that soon we’ll be into the “everyone doing their own thing” season of life. We’re catching glimpses of it. The inevitable shift is in motion, and it’s all brand new. I feel like a first-time mom all over again – but this time instead of bouncing a sweet babe on my hip, I’m juggling social plans and big emotions. I’m relearning many things as my role moves from teacher and trainer to coach and cheerleader.

Amid the shifts in family dynamics, the gravity of the passing of time grounds me. I am fully aware that we have just a few years left before our own birds start spreading their wings and heading out.

Lord, stamp eternity into my eyes. Help me not to waste the difficult moments. Help me to trust that You know all things, and in Your time You make all things beautiful.

These past twelve months have driven me even deeper into the perfect love of God. I have discovered that no matter where the road leads, no matter what season we are in, He is good. He is a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him! (Nahum 1:7). It is only by His grace that I wake each morning, ready for what the new day holds. And by His grace, I can confidently say: Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19).

Image: mine

All is Not Lost

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My favourite tree across the street is finally leafing out.

This one has grown up with my babies. Years ago it barely peeked over the fence. Now it reaches tall and broad, filling out the space between the others in the yard with outstretched branches. For the first time ever, it eclipses the 40 foot evergreens that tower in the distance, its leaves unfurling and glistening in the spotty spring sunlight, the same favourite leaves I know will glow brilliant gold come autumn.

“My, how you’ve grown,” I thought to myself this week. Like a cheek-pinching auntie, I marvelled from a distance at its stature. “So much bigger than last spring!”

The neighbourhood is slowly changing. It’s one of the gifts of living in the same place for many spring seasons: you begin to notice time and trends making their indelible mark.

Several mature trees have been removed in the past 12 months from the familiar little block we call home. Some may have come to the end of their life or met with disease, others removed for utility work and infrastructure upgrades, and still others were cut down for more curb appeal as the real estate market burns bright.

I am sad to see them go, although others have been planted nearby, as if to replace the ones we have lost. These will take years to grow into maturity, if they make it at all, and it will be decades before they bring the same shade, colour and beauty of their predecessors.

Trees for my grandchildren, if the Lord is gracious.

As I shake my head and return to tending my own yard, inspecting the well-established rose bushes in the front bed, wrestling out the quack grass and removing last season’s rose hips and dead leaves, I realize that I may have very well become the neighbour who greeted us somewhat begrudgingly when we first moved in years ago as the only young couple on the block.

“We need a Welcome-to-the-Neighbourhood Barbecue so we can teach you how we do things around here,” she warned. I picked up on her strong desire for things to stay the same forever, although to this day, I am still waiting for the promised lesson. 

I laugh at myself as I dig down into the dirt next to the rose bushes once again to get something, anything, to grow in the south-facing desert under my front picture windows — the place plants go to die. The perennials I chose last year weren’t hearty enough to survive, so this year it’s sunflowers and hollyhocks with their promise of big blooms, heat tolerance and nostalgia.

Every year I try something new, hoping that it will take. I haven’t given up yet! Between the repeated attempts to bring life from a barren patch in my flower bed and the beautiful growth of my favourite tree across the street, I realize that all is not lost. In spite of the unavoidable changes in my life, the promise of the next generation, deeply rooted and reaching ever higher, reminds me that there is beauty for ashes, gladness for mourning, peace for despair (Isaiah 61:3).

Jesus, help me not to become bitter with the changes life brings. There are so many places marked by circumstances beyond my control but I know You can be trusted to bring streams in the desert, to breathe new life into what seems lost. You are before all things, and in You all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17).

Image: Mine

Always Learning

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The rhythms of the year are more and more precious to me with each passing season. Birdsong floats over a carpet of green, buds appear on otherwise barren branches and tender shoots poke up through the earth. The sun plays hide and seek with layers of clouds, peeking its head out now and then to cast shadows.

Spring snow brings moisture, although we would rather it fall as rain, but we are well-acquainted with the changeable nature of the season. Even so, the first lines of Psalm 24 echo in my mind… 

“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
    the world, and all who live in it…”

Time drifts along, rearranging the space in my life to suit the season I am in. I am the first to tell my friends that “life is seasons” when the waves of change roll. I’m telling them, but in reality, I’m preaching to my own heart.

I’ve never liked endings, even necessary ones. Even though I know how it will go, I can’t help myself. I’ve shed tears over the break-up of the Beatles, the final minutes of Return of the King, the closing pages of Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables. I always wish for just one more song or scene. My 9 year old appears to have inherited that trait. The other day she said to me, “Sometimes I don’t finish books because I don’t want them to end.”

Oh honey, I feel that deep in my bones. I don’t want this season to end so I hold on with an iron grip and refuse to open my white-knuckled fingers for fear not that I will drop something but that I myself will be dropped. Is it trust that I am forgetting? I know the One who holds it all together. Can I not trust that He will sustain? That He is enough?

In holding on so tight, I’m trying to hold back the sands of time grain by grain.

Impossible task.

Every time we reach a new stage, a new milestone, a new season, a piece of my heart goes with them. It’s just another version of the same lesson we begin to learn the moment they take their first breath.

Yet, in my heart I hear the gentle whisper, reminding me of the One who is always good.

“Let them go. Let them experience and learn and grow and discover the very good God that you know. The God who sustains, rescues, forgives, saves and love so deeply. The God who is with us, and will be long after you’re gone.”

Oh Lord have mercy on this mama who is always learning to let go! Give me the grace to keep moving through these ages and stages, knowing that You are good and Your love endures forever, and that Your faithfulness continues through all generations.

Help me to trust them, but most of all, to trust You with them, Lord.

Image: Stocksnap

Not So Fast

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Grey skies and gusty winds. 

Something chilly this way comes. 

We had a taste of spring last week. The sun soaked up all the snow on the front lawn and the grass peeked out. I spied the irises poking up from underneath last year’s batch and excited birdsong filled the neighbourhood. All has gone back to sleep now. A fresh dusting of grainy snow has come, with a wicked windchill to boot.

February is reminding us that winter isn’t quite finished. We need the moisture desperately so I have vowed not to complain about any of the snow from now until June, even though I’m sure a late May snowstorm isn’t anyone’s idea of great fun. Living in the shadow of the mountains, we can get snow in just about any month of the year.

This is the hard part, though. We’ve had our winter fun with skating, tobogganing, hot chocolate, puzzles, board games and movies and we’re ready to seed our veggies, watch for the first leaf bud and listen for our favourite winged migrants to fill the neighbourhood with song.

Not so fast, says late February. Time for the shoulder season. 

The freeze-melt-freeze-melt-freeze-melt cycle of late winter. Warm days mean cloud arches that block the sun’s rays and the sweet smell of fresh mud, and cold days mean cloudy skies that threaten more flakes and thin, nearly-invisible layers of ice in unexpected places. We know could be in a days-long, bone-chilling, teeth-chattering, finger-numbing polar vortex climbing the walls with cabin fever, so instead of complaining, we choose embrace this shoulder season and make the most of each day, whatever it brings — be it sun or cloud, mud or ice, or both in the same day.

It’s coming at the right time. The tension of the now and the not-yet and the longing for the warmth of spring reflects the nature of the Christian season leading up to Easter, as we prepare our hearts to celebrate the promise of new life in Jesus. We sense the change in the natural world, but it feels too slow for us. We want the warmth of April at the end of February, and it is never to be. We may catch a glimpse as the sun returns, but the journey has its own pace and it will not be rushed.

The journey has its own pace, and it will not be rushed.

 I need to hear that again and again heading into the month of March. We know that the snow will return many times before late spring, so we embrace the pace of the natural world, learning to wait patiently for warm breath to draw life from the soil and hope from our winter-weary hearts. In the meantime we persevere, praising the Lord for the pleasant days and praying for patience on the tough ones.

Even here in the shoulder season the echoes of the Incarnation are heard throughout our lives: Emmanuel, God with us. When we’re not quite where we want to be, or where we hope to be, we rest in the knowledge that we are not alone.

Spring always returns.

For this God is our God for ever and ever;
    he will be our guide even to the end.
(Psalm 48:14)

(Image: mine)

Shades of Autumn

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Golden shades of autumn kiss green treetops as we sail down the open road. 

A last-minute weekend away took us through the hot, dry prairies and up into craggy mountains and lush valleys, along turquoise lakes, bubbling creeks and shady, tree-lined highways.

At night, the frogs and crickets sang with the sound of the river running far down below. In the morning, the bees began their busy work flitting from flower to flower and squirrels chattered in branches high above.

So much beauty in such a short time.

Isn’t summer just like that? Maybe life is too, in some ways. Raising four littles, I’ve often heard the saying, “The days are long but the years are short”. No kidding. Heading into a new school year with these four, I can see that we’re well into the next season of life. Cute sayings and silly happenings, spills and fights, laughter and tears — they happen differently now than they used to, and that’s okay.

We find ourselves entering the dance with big kids and young teenagers. I’m learning as I go, and sometimes it feels like I’m flying blind. More often than I’d like to admit, I’m clumsy and don’t always get the steps right but praise the Lord for His grace in each moment as I learn the lifelong lesson of letting go.

Shades of autumn will give way to the silvery touch of winter. I can see the edges of it in my eyes and in my hair. What will become of the home we once had? What will become of the relationships forged in the fires of this family? Will they grow together or apart? Will they remain deeply rooted and established in the love of Christ? Or will they forget their first love after all?

As we begin a new school year, my prayers are going far beyond friends and schoolwork to the growing-up of these young people God has placed within our care. So many things in life are beyond my control, but I know the One who holds it all together, so I turn to Him with my heart’s cry:

Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer. 

Tend to my sweet children today. Protect them in every way. Remind them of Your deep love for them. Draw them in to take hold of life’s true treasure, and cover them with Your grace. Give them courage and wisdom as they learn from their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. Open their ears to good counsel, and help them discern the lies that entangle. May they find their strength in You. Jesus, be near each one today. Bless them and keep them, make Your face shine upon them and be gracious to them. Lord, give them peace. Help me to love them well, the way You have loved me. And when suffering comes, remind them of who You are, and who they are because of You.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Autumn in view (image: mine)

Dust Settling

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The zinnias are coming up and the sunflowers are standing at attention. Blush pink, bright red and orange-yellow roses are in bloom. We’ve enjoyed more than a few handfuls of Saskatoons and our sweet little strawberry plants have given us about three beautiful ripe berries altogether this summer. They’ve found refuge from hungry birds under the shade of the hollyhocks, which is probably why we’ve found any at all! Deep purple pansies nod their heads in the wind, grateful for the bit of sunshine cast their way for part of the afternoon.

We’ve had more rain this July than in years past so things are still looking quite well but the long, dry, hot days of summer are upon us and soon shades of yellow and brown will fill the horizon.

The dust is settling in our world, but not the way we had hoped. May and June surprised us with some deeply sad and extremely hard things, and now we are left with the pieces that remain.

“Dear Lord, thank you for today. Thank you for this food. And please help us because we don’t have a grandpa anymore. Amen.”

Our six year old son prays this daily as we gather around our old dining set. We are wading through the thick reeds of grief and loss, but like catching a glimpse of a stunning marsh bird in flight, or hearing its song, our experience has been peppered with the heart-lifting joy of a child’s perspective.

What a gift.

Tomorrow would have been my father-in-law’s 71st birthday. We wanted more time. We planned for more time. We knew the sudden diagnosis meant less time in the long run, but four weeks felt much too fast.

He loved good ice cream. 

Tomorrow, we will eat the best of the best, and we will remember.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

Image: mine