Christian living

I Threw Away “The List”

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I don’t write much about marriage. It’s not because I don’t have things to say, it’s because I feel like I haven’t been married long enough to really know what I’m talking about, you know what I mean?

This year we celebrate 9 years of marriage. I love my man with all my heart! But we’re still babies at this whole thing.

When I was single, I had The List. It was loaded with things that a guy had to be or have in order to qualify for a second look. It was ridiculously specific, and frankly, unrealistic. Every guy I met was measured against The List. And it brought alot of heartache.

One day, it dawned on me. I wasn’t really being very fair, was I? I had always prayed for the person I would hopefully marry one day, that God would put us in each other’s lives, and that He would give me someone who loved Jesus and was willing to follow Him no matter the cost. But I wasn’t willing to trust God with the details on this one.

So I threw The List away. Instead, I wrote down my non-negotiable qualities on one side of a piece of scrap paper, and my negotiable qualities on the other side.

Then, I just lived the life that was in front of me.

In God’s timing and by His grace, we found each other. Ten years ago this month, a girl from a tiny land-locked farming town on the Canadian prairies met a boy who grew up near the beach in sunny California, and the rest is history! Hearts, hearts, hearts!

I stumbled upon that new list the other day was I was looking for something else. As I read through the qualities on each side, I was amazed at God’s faithfulness and love for me in providing me with this man who sat beside me as we drove.

If you have ever doubted God’s faithfulness, know that He hears every prayer you pray, and sees every tear you cry. He is real, He is present, and He is working in ways you cannot imagine.

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

together

Young love

A Simple Moment that Changed Our Day

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“First she wrecked my toys, now she has my favourite cup!” my almost 5 year old shrieked. It had been a long morning already – and it had only just begun. Feeling forgotten and frustrated, she sat on the floor and wailed.

I turned from my important task, walked across the room, sat down on the floor beside her and pulled her onto my lap, arms around her tight.

“I love you. I see you,” I said quietly between her sobs. Her body relaxed and she poured out her heart. It was a moment we both would have missed if I hadn’t paid attention.

Truthfully, I don’t always catch on to their cries to be seen and held. Sometimes when they upset my apple cart of plans and goals for that very moment, I react instead of respond. But I am learning that when my kids are pushing away from me, that’s when I need to stop what I am doing, and draw near to them.

Anyone else find it easier to lecture than to love? Love requires more than my words. Lecturing postures me above them, wagging my finger and my tongue, hoping it will somehow change their behaviour; love puts me beside them, holding and comforting, offering security and safety. Lecturing can be done from across the room; love demands the nearness of my actual presence. Lecturing leaves lingering guilt; love brings restoration.

Jesus, silence my lecturing tongue and let your amazing love flow through me today to these precious ones in my care.

love kid art

a love note from my daughter

I’m Not Choosing One Word This Year

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There is this practice of choosing one word for the year to be a theme or point of focus and encouragement – and for a follower of Jesus, the idea is that you spend some time in the Bible, praying and asking God to give you that particular word. I’m such a chatty gal that I am not sure one word would suffice! But it’s interesting, nonetheless.

I actually did this as part of a team-building retreat at work a few years ago. It was in the middle of a very busy, stretching season (really, when am I not in a season like that?!) with two kids at home aged three and one. I was exhausted! And struggling to find the little joys in the day. The word I settled on happened to be DELIGHT. I think it was prompted by a verse I had memorized long ago – “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (NIV84)

I put the word up on the wall so I could see it every single day, and it reminded me over and over where my heart should be finding its encouragement and joy! The amazing thing is, over the course of the year a shift was happening inside of me. Soon I was seeing more and more moments of pure delight right in the middle of our ordinary but crazy life!

I’m not choosing one word this year – but I think I’ve stumbled upon a phrase instead. Each month I put a new verse on our chalkboard by the door so we can see it as soon as we walk in. On New Year’s Day I was thinking of what I should write for this month, when the words of Psalm 46 drifted quietly through my mind:

…Be still and know that I am God… – Psalm 46:10a (NIV84)

I struggle with constantly being ten steps ahead, trying to figure out the outcomes of every situation and control where the journey is going.

This year, before anxiety reaches fever pitch – I will BE STILL.

When I start to feel overwhelmed and alone – I will BE STILL.

When the kids are crazy and the demands of our life scream for my attention – I will BE STILL.

When the temptation rises to control and control and control some more – I will BE STILL.

And know that He is God.

Thank you Jesus for this beautiful, soul-healing word of life!

be still